Taichung Academy: The Journey of a Thousand Miles and All Those Steps

This is not the story of a medical procedure. This is a story of love, and life, and everything in between.

Not too few couples dream of raising a family. This means not just husband and wife, forever, but also a child, or children.

Actually, many couples work on it, and not just dream about it, but there are those who struggle to make it happen so much harder than the rest. This is their story, their journey, and their steps.

Deciding to have a baby

While teenage pregnancies are commonplace these days, many still find it hard to conceive. This is especially true for those who get married late in life (meaning, not in their 20s, but already in their 30s, or even in their 40s).

It is through no fault of these couples that they are faced with this difficulty. Maybe it is their medical condition, of one or the other or both, which they cannot do anything about except to try to find and get treatment. Perhaps it is their psychological situation, just way too much stress brought about by anything and everything life and work and all have brought to them, or they brought to themselves without much of a choice really. Of course, it could also be their age, and nobody can stop this clock. Whatever, the point is that having a baby becomes an effort and a challenge for them, and an extraordinary one.

So, what must these couples do, or do first?

Decide.

Deciding to have a baby after years (not months) of trying is the first step in this journey of a thousand miles. This decision requires more than just the ordinary commitment, dedication and devotion. There will be moments along the way that can (and for some, will) break the spirit, if it is not strong enough.

Therefore, a decision has to be made by both (not just one) and they have to stick with it through all the ups and downs, through all the thicks and thins, and through all the bests and worsts. Usually, the latter are more common than the former, so the couples have to be unwavering.

Studying the available options

When the decision has been made, which is hard enough as it is, the harder part comes along.

This is not meant to be a technical piece, but these letters, or groups of letters for that matter, need to be mentioned: IUI, ICI, IVI, IVF.

What the heaven?

Anyway, there are really a lot of options besides the regular, natural, old school way that obviously did not work or is not working for these couples. They just need to decide which one to choose, or choose first.

Trying out the local/domestic choices

There are already plenty of doctors and clinics in the Philippines. This piece is not intended to promote any medical practitioner or medical establishment in particular, so no names will be mentioned, but the truth and the fact is that there are choices here at home, and couples just have to choose which one, based on their own research and based on the recommendations of family, friends and even acquaintances or strangers who are in the same predicament.

Some argue that it is better to try it first in the country rather than go overseas right away because it is cheaper (no need to spend for plane tickets, hotel accommodations, and other collateral travel expenditures) and it is more convenient (some cannot leave work, or at least cannot leave work for a long period of time). Anyway, the procedure is available and accessible here.

Some argue that it is best to try it elsewhere, immediately or thereafter if the attempt or attempts made here was not or were not successful, particularly because of the presence of work (work and worries have to stop, or at least pause) and the existence of the status quo of convenience (there must be a change in circumstance or atmosphere, or a more conducive environment, so there will be focus and concentration on the procedure and not on anything else and everything else).

In any case, the final decision would be based on how much sacrifice, if it can be called one and it can be called one, the couples are willing to endure.

Considering the international/foreign alternatives

Popular destinations are Taiwan, Thailand, Singapore and even the US.

Funny, it sounds like selecting a vacation or escapade (and it could actually be one, too) but certainly, definitely, this sojourn will not be like that for most of the way.

These international/foreign alternatives are hot items supposedly because of their success rates (per advertisement, 50% on the first attempt and it could go as high as 95% on the third attempt, but this has to be validated since most actual stories only go up to 10%-20%, at least for Filipinos who have made such attempts).

Anyway, this is a story of a trip to Taiwan or, more accurately, a compilation of stories of several trips to Taiwan, for IVF.

The sacrifice mentioned in the preceding section above, then, means one month here in the Philippines and about three to five weeks there in Taiwan (from the beginning to the end of the procedure). It will be three weeks there if the couples decide to stay only until embryo transfer. It will be five weeks there if the couples decide to stay until the pregnancy test results are out.

Preparing for the trip, and the procedure

The first thing on the list is the appointment with the doctor and the clinic. This one is pretty easy. The couples will decide when they want to go, and then they simply send an email (yes, no need to personally go, and no need to make a call) indicating their intent and preferred date or range of dates. Upon receipt of the confirmation, that is it. Tip: Write in very simple english. As they say there, “Sorry, I cannot english.”

The second thing on the list is undergoing all those lab tests. While there may be additional tests that need to be conducted at the clinic there, there are preliminary ones that could already and should already be done here. Anyway, the clinic will email the tests that are required. Again, this is not meant to be a technical piece, but these letters, or groups of letters for that matter, need to be mentioned: FSH, AMH, and many more. At this point, however, couples already know (although not necessarily completely understand) the meanings of these acronyms. Tip: Make sure to not only undergo the lab tests but also to do them timely. Old results will be useless and will have to be repeated at the clinic.

The third thing on the list is closing shop. Yes, the shop needs to be closed, one way or the other. The idea is for there to be as minimal worries, and concerns, left at work, and at home. Tasks have to be assigned at the office – no more deadlines to beat, no more pending assignments, no more schedules in the calendar. Depending on the scenario for each household, proper arrangements have to be made for the members of the family, if any, who will be left at home. While closing shop, couples will already be introduced to this brother and sister tandem: Progyluton and Lupron, and all the other siblings composed of supplements like Melatonin, CoQ10, among many others (for repeaters). Tip: Make a checklist of this closing shop operation, and make sure that each item on the list has been checked, and double checked, and triple checked.

The fourth thing on the list is the travel arrangements. Now this is not at all complicated. The necessary requirements just have to be submitted for the approval of the visa. The plane tickets just have to be purchased, and they can be bought online. The hotel accommodations just have to be reserved, online also, and there are actually not too many places to choose from, so this is nothing mind-boggling or earth-shaking. The go-to for Filipinos is basically that one in “Wonderland”, although new ones are slowly being discovered. Tip: While the plane tickets and the hotel accommodations can be booked online without outside help, it would give peace of mind if assistance from a travel agent is sought for the visa application, especially for first-timers.

The fifth thing on the list is packing the bags. Yes, packing the bags, just like going on a vacation or escapade, but this is more like backpacking than a honeymoon or some other kind of romantic, luxurious and opulent getaway. Depending on the season in Taiwan, yes they have four seasons (summer from June to August, fall from September to November, winter from December to February, and spring from March to May), you pack the appropriate clothes. The best period, though, is fall, when the weather is cooler, and when rainfall is at its lowest, but of course these couples could not and would not care less about the weather, for they are there on a mission. But, just the same, they have to bring the suitable apparel. Tip: Travel light. Do not bring a lot, or one set for each day. This will be explained in some detail later.

Letting go while holding on

At this juncture, couples are already at the departure area, waiting for boarding time. There should and would be nothing else and nothing more to do, except to say a short prayer that is actually just a continuation of a never-ending one. This is the time to let go, and to let God. This is the time to hold on to, and have faith in, the indomitable belief that there is nothing that the Lord and the couples cannot do together, whatever may His will be. Amen.

A new life abroad towards a new life at home

Backtracking a bit, it is to be noted that undergoing an IVF abroad is not cheap. It entails a considerable amount that may be affordable for some but prohibitive for others. This being said, it would be safe to assume that couples who fly overseas for IVF are at the very least comfortable in life, if in case they do not, or do not want to, label themselves as rich. To be sure, though, and without a doubt, though, they are not poor.

Depending on the medical situation of one or both, the total expenses can go from a low of P300,000 to a high of P600,000, or thereabouts, but of course there may be changes without prior notice. Once more with feeling, this is not meant to be a technical piece, but in relation to the spike in costs, these letters, or groups of letters for that matter, need to be mentioned: TESA, ICSI, LAHA, among others. It is to be noted, likewise, that payments for sperm donors and egg donors (which is 10-15 times more expensive than the sperm donors), if and when one or both may be required, also jack up the costs.

In any case, going back, upon touchdown, couples must be able and willing to lead a different kind of life, at least temporarily.

There are no direct flights to Taichung (where the doctor and the clinic is). The airport is located in Taoyuan, which is a couple of hours away. Therefore, after collecting checked-in luggage, the bus ride comes next, which would have already been pre-arranged with the hotel.

Immediately, the couples will feel that they are in a foreign land, especially for first-timers, because of the sights and sounds and smells.

Now this story is not a diary. It will not narrate a blow-by-blow account.

And this story is not a manual. It will neither diagram a step-by-step flowchart or enumerate the articles and sections of the rules and regulations.

What this story will share are only snippets of that different kind of life, and here they are.

Hotel

The moment the couples enter the hotel, this thought will immediately sink in: their trip is a business trip. And, once they enter their room, another realization will transpire: they are not tourists.

The point is that their hotel and their room will never be the ones they will choose when looking for pleasure, to relax, to unwind, to have that break that they deserve, to have that escape that they desire.

But, of course, the accommodations do not matter much. The only thing that matters most is the procedure and, hopefully, its success.

Transportation

None. None?

When most couples drive cars back home, and some even have drivers, they have none there, and there is not much need, too.

The walk from the hotel to the clinic, and vice versa, is only a few minutes. No sweat.

For those who happen to wake up late on some days, a cab can be called, but this very rarely happens. It is that near.

For those who may want to, or need to, go elsewhere, and this is for sure, there is always the taxi, but the preferred mode is the bus, or buses, plying the routes of the malls (and the night markets) and the church. More details later.

For those who may want to take a side trip, like a visit to the lake to bask in the shining and shimmering glory of the “Sun” and the “Moon” and the calming whispers of the wind and the breeze, or a visit to the mountains or highlands with huge trees (try to imagine this: one tree is 53 meters in height, 5 meters in diameter, and 23 meters in circumference) to figuratively swim in the sea of clouds, or a visit to the capital where the tallest building in the world is (though not anymore because the Burj Khalifa in Dubai built in 2010, among other new ones, has already overtaken the Taipei 101 built in 2004), there is always the bullet train which is an experience in itself.

Injections

This is like torture. This is every single day for a week or so, and not just once, but twice per day.

Now these couples need to spend their days, and live their lives, around these daily, and twice a day, schedules. They cannot go too far, if they go anywhere at all. Well, they can actually do it (injections) themselves, but nobody usually do it (injections) themselves. The nurses at the clinic are always available anyway. No lines, or maybe a very short one, like one or two people are ahead. No waiting times, or perhaps a very short one, like a minute to around five or so. Usually, none at all.

Why torture? Nobody gets injected at home, every day, and twice a day, for several days. But will it feel like torture? Maybe not. Perhaps never. These couples, without exception, are grim and determined.

And this is the last thing that this piece will mention about anything related to the medical procedure. It is sensitive. It is delicate. It is better left in the private confines of the hearts and minds of all these brave souls who have dared to try after having failed, and continued to hope against hope, when others have long given up.

Food

There is breakfast buffet at the hotel, but it is unlike breakfast at home, to say the least, and it is also not much of a buffet, although it is supposed to be. The kicker is that it is 99% the same fare for the whole time that the couples are there, which runs from three weeks to five weeks. This is really not a very good topic.

The good thing is that there are plenty of neighborhood food stores and, yes, a couple of nice but not so nice restaurants. The key is to look for company, especially Filipino-Chinese individuals or couples who can speak Mandarin or even just a little bit of it, so at least the orders can approximate what is or are desired, for not all of these outlets have photos or displays where one can just point and choose. There are also real buffet restaurants that are far but not so far. These are great ones, especially if the couples go as a group. The best one is that joint where most locals go for the Meiji ice cream for dessert. Poor Filipinos, they just have to settle for the Haagen Dazs!

Anyway, although it is prohibited, not too few couples also do hide-and-cook. This is when the rice cooker is also the cooking pot and likewise the frying pan. Rice first, put in plastic container, viand next, put in plastic container, wash the 3-in-1 cooking ware immediately, then hide inside its box in the closet covered by some dirty clothes. Cool? Cool. They should not forget to open the windows (actually, just one, for those who have one) to let the smell and smoke go out.

Related to the above, there are groceries that are just one bus ride away, and there are many choices of ingredients to choose from. Of course, everything will taste somewhat different when these couples cook, for while the garlic and the onion may not be very different although they are on the bland side, the soy sauce and the vinegar definitely are. Yes, this is about Adobo. They can also buy cooked food at the basement of the department stores. The more popular ones are the roasted chicken (and they give plastic gloves for the patrons to eat by hand) and the minute steaks (actually, just 30 seconds of pan frying).

All these, considering that these couples, more often than not, may not even cook their own food at home, and may not even eat at basements, and may not even be seen on side streets eating lunch or dinner on monobloc tables and chairs with cars and people passing by less than a feet away, or wash not only dishes or utensils but also rice cookers doubling as frying pans. Boom.

Laundry

For first-timers, they will realize that they brought way too much clothes, and many inappropriate ones like those needing a lot of ironing. Sorry, there are no irons in Taiwan (this is exaggerated and most probably false), unless if the couples bring one. Nothing to worry, everybody there wears crumpled shirts.

The hotel offers laundry services, but they outsource it to a laundromat just around the corner (less than a hundred meters). If couples want to save a few bucks, then they are better off bringing their stuff to the laundromat by themselves and not through the hotel.

Finally, there is really no need to bring a lot, as couples will not be going out to fancy places with dress codes. Most just wear jeans and shirts (t-shirts). Some did not and do not even bring pants anymore (they just wear shorts the whole time). Some wear shoes but, after a time, they feel more comfortable just wearing slippers. They feel at home and, for three to five weeks, it is home, or even better, as nobody goes out of the house in the Philippines wearing crumpled shirts and all, or wearing the same attire twice or more in a week. Funny, some second-timers or third-timers even bring clothes there but only to be left when they leave. No need to carry back home their Taichung uniforms.

Malls (and the night markets)

To be sure, there are plenty of malls in the area, but the most popular are Chungyo (near) and Mitsukoshi (not so near). There is also a famous night market called Fengjia (now this is far). Therefore, for quick trips to a mall, Chungyo; for extended trips to a mall with time to linger, Mitsukoshi; and for shopping and shopping and shopping of whatever is cheap or appears to be cheap, Fengjia. Fengjia also features a variety of street foods that Taiwan is known for. Just look for the long queues. They are the best. To be clear, this is not an endorsement of the two malls and the night market but, without a doubt, these three places will be recommended by anybody and everybody anyway, so there.

Church

There are around 10 catholic churches in the city, but most couples only go to this one: Immaculate Conception Church in Fushing Road.

Maybe it is because of the service – the priests are like politicians and comedians rolled into one, making the faithful cry, laugh, inspired and become generous when the offertory comes. Hearing mass there is really fun, even the non-Catholics go. More than the verses and the parables of the bible, the priests tell real stories of real people. This is a jampacked church mostly composed of overseas contract workers, and it is their stories that the priests share, in a serious and sincere way, but in a really hilarious and almost hysterical manner. This is a must try.

Perhaps it is because of its location – it is right in front of THE Malinamnam, an almost 20-year old Filipino restaurant and mini-grocery (they have San Miguel Beer, but none of these couples will even touch a bottle) that sells food only on Sundays and only during lunch time; and this where Adobo tastes like the real thing plus many other Filipino favorites that taste even better than in the Philippines. It is that good. On weekdays, however, this shop is an airline ticketing office and offers parcel/cargo service.

Side trips

In addition to the malls and the night markets, couples can also check out the temples and museums if they are into arts and culture, and religion or spirituality, or just plain curious and feeling touristy.

They can also go to the lakes and mountains, as mentioned earlier, if they love nature, quiet, serenity, tranquility or just fresh air and cool winds.

Side trips, however, are discouraged for first-timers. They still have to become familiar with the medical procedure and the local circumstances. For repeaters, already familiar with everything, they can go on these side trips just to take their minds off everything and try to enjoy, somehow and somewhat, the beauty that the foreign country offers. Or, and this is a little sad, the couples can go on these side trips if the medical procedure has either failed or temporarily suspended or postponed for one reason or another.

Friends

Now this is the best part, apart from having successfully completed the medical procedure with a positive pregnancy test. These couples will meet, and be tied with a bond that only they can understand and comprehend, and will always remember the adventure.

At any one time, in “Wonderland”, there are about eight to twelve Filipino couples undergoing the same routine. Plus or minus a few days or weeks, their stay there will coincide or overlap.

But this friendship that has developed by undergoing exactly the same ordeal will last more than the fleeting couple of days or weeks or so.

The baby of one couple becomes the baby of everybody (paging Ninong, paging Ninang, Merry Christmas!).

The story, and the struggles, of those who did not make it the first time, or after multiple attempts, will be felt, too, in varying degrees, by everybody else.

The triumphs of those who finally became successful, either thru IVF or adoption or surrogacy or whatever means, also become joy for all.

Back home, these couples still meet up for reunions or get-togethers, or at least chat via SMS, Facebook Groups or Messenger or other social media platforms, and even not keep in touch often, or at all, but nobody ever forgets.

Yes, nobody forgets that at least once in their lives, they lived a different life, individually, as couples, and as a group, in a foreign land, with heavy but hopeful hearts, with eyes staring in the distance but nothing can be seen, with eyes closed but everything is clear, with minds wandering without the hands never letting go, with feet planted on the ground trying to jump but cannot move, and all those feelings that can never be described but can only be experienced.

Yes, nobody can take this journey, and all those steps, away from them.

Yes, they have become like batchmates and alumni of this school of love, and life, and everything in between: the Taichung Academy.