If you’ve played the sims before, you’d know that one of the bars you need to fill in is the social bar. All my life I pegged it at us just being innately social beings that needs connection and never questioned it. Socialization is natural – not just for humans but for many, if not most, of the species on the planet. We have schools of fish, we have tarsiers that move and have defensive strategies as a collective, a colony of ants. We’re not always meant to be alone.
With the pandemic cutting almost all physical and visible connection with a lot of the people I socialized with, I started noticing the actual weight of this social bar and why it must be something we pay attention to.
Health through socialization
Developing relationships with others is not a gimmick or a whim, it’s also important to our health. Forming our chosen families with our friends, and building this connection, helps provide us with a solid support system that can help you lighten your mood and be able to process and overcome more difficult things. It’s not to say that we don’t have the capacity to do things by ourselves, but more of us allowing ourselves to have the support we deserve. After all, we all have our limits.
Emotional limits and what tips it
Emotional capacity is our emotional limit or simply the limits of how much stress we can tolerate. I think this is something we often take for granted and set aside. But some things drain us emotionally that can impact and impair how we respond to things, how we work, and how we understand, connect, or empathize with others. Sometimes, it can even affect us physically.
For example, if there are tensions at home and your workplace, and things go unresolved for a long period of time, it can get to a point that it’s tiring to share a space with those involved. Or, even just being in the space that reminds you of them could make you feel somber, tired, or demotivated. Sometimes, people can peg this as lazy that day, which might not always be the case.
Without building more this connection to fulfill our social needs, we risk depression, anxiety, bouts of feeling demotivated and isolated. It affects our quality of life, and we deserve to live the life we’ll enjoy living.
Creating and honoring meaningful connections
Forming relationships, even friendships, can be scary because developing meaningful relationships mean that you have to be honest, vulnerable, and show your true self. What if they don’t like me, or we clash too much, or if they reject me? It can be intimidating. But, see, I’m a firm believer that with about 7 billion people in the world, it’s impossible that no one shares your beliefs, humor (or lack of), and would love to be your friend.
Relationships aren’t always about what you bring to the table, and can sometimes be just a group of people enjoying each other’s presence. Sure, you can’t control who leaves, and you can’t control when; but then maybe they were seasons and you’ve yet to find your chosen family. Try focusing on your own goals and dreams, maybe they’re also still working their way to that path and you’d get to meet them eventually. They are there somewhere, maybe you just haven’t met each other yet.
For things to help you cope with isolation due to COVID, you can read our article on it here: https://www.ikot.ph/survival-kit-coping-in-the-time-of-covid/.
